Worrywart

Welcome (back) Reader! In this blog post, I'm going to talk about a certain quirk of mine. So as result of reading this, you will get to know me a little bit (more).

I was raised to be morally upright, just like how a lot of people are raised to be so by their parents. I grew up as such, at least for the most part. For one thing, I remember that I would say some swear words, but refused to do so with any holy names or such, since I was Catholic back then. I even remember telling off a classmate once not to do so since it was blasphemy or not right. I also was aware that stealing was bad, and at least for the most part (I think :-P) abstained from partaking in that act.

So this behavior--caring about what's right and wrong--followed me throughout the years. At one, point, I even battled with myself about the moral implications of software piracy--something that's considered to be "okay" by a lot of people. It's something that a lot of people are accustomed to back home in the Philippines since it's way cheaper than buying legit. (I'm not happy about this fact.) I eventually realized that it is wrong even if "everybody does it," and I still stick with that realization today, as a lot of my friends may know.

Software piracy may be considered by a lot to be a "victimless crime," and there is some reasoning to that; though analyzing further, one can see that it really isn't a "victimless crime" and that there are some real implications to the act. Some may still think, "So what?! Those companies are way too rich anyway." I for one still refuse to utilize something--software in this instance--which I really should be paying for, no matter how wealthy the seller is. It's just wrong not to, and I shouldn't wrong anyone.

Anyway, this just shows how I prioritize/consider moral values more than a usual person may. I don't mean to brag. In fact, a lot of people may consider my behavior to be really weird--not normal--which it is. I honestly even feel embarrassed sometimes to let others know. If a friend for example wants me to listen to a certain song, I would sometimes ask first if it's a legit copy, and if it's not, I (kindly) refuse the person. Doing that just feels weird for me, thus I feel embarrassed about it.

That example also shows how much I worry about being morally upright, or just not committing wrong onto others. I worry about a lot of other things as well. A lot of them, if not most, may seem funny.

• I worry about having any droplets of my saliva fling off somewhere when I speak, which happens occasionally with some, if not all, people. I avoid doing so because it's disgusting for one thing, but I also don't want to risk getting other people sick if ever I have something, even if I don't know (yet) if I do. It's also very difficult to tell someone that you've spat on their food or whatever. (Haha!)
• I worry about getting things like seats "dirty," especially with seats found in public like bus seats. This is because I don't want to cause whoever will sit on whichever seat to track dirt or whatever, or at least I don't want to add to whatever dirt that's already there. I've avoided putting my bag on whatever seat was next to me because I knew that my bag also gets put on floors--not that I put my bag on particularly dirty floors. I have put my bag on bus seats still though, after some consideration, but still dusted the bottom of my bag before doing so. (See how weird I am... :-P)
• I worry about not breaking, or even scratching, things that aren't mine--including public property. I thus get cautious around other people's cars, for one thing. I don't even want to get too near them, due to the fear that I may slip up somehow and end up making a scratch. I have nicked someone else's car before by opening the door of the car I was in too wide and hitting that adjacent car. I was told by my friend, who I was riding with, that it was alright and that it happens, and we left it at that; but the thought of what I had done still lingered in my head for that day and way further. In fact, I still occasionally contemplate about it up to now. I felt, and still do feel, bad about how I didn't catch the driver of the other car and at least apologize.

Those examples just go to show further how I worry about things that may seem to some people like non-issues or things not even worth mentioning or thinking about--that is when they aren't on the receiving end. I know that it's only right to be considerate of other people, but it has come to feel stressful and thus unhealthy for me to worry so much about things like those I've mentioned. With that in mind, I don't have any plans to stop being like this. I think I'll eventually cope with the strees like how I've been doing so far. After all, if everyone lets go of their values and morals, imagine how much crappier the world would be.

That's it from me...for now. I hope you've found this post entertaining, humorous, insightful, and such. Until next time! :-)